A year before my brother got sick, my best friend from college had a rough year. Her foster brother suffered a TBI during his second tour “in the sandbox,” returning home with the mental capacity of a three year old. I consoled her when she agonized over buying him Sesame Street picture books for his birthday. While she knew that was what would make him happy, it was hard for her to think of her older brother in this new light. Over the past years he has recovered significantly but is never expected to regain all prior function.
That same year her father suffered a stroke and was diagnosed with MS. A while later an inoperable brain tumor was added to the diagnosis with a one-year prognosis. His condition deteriorated significantly over the years, but after three years the terminal prognosis was lifted. The family’s suffering over the past 4+ years has been great but they turn to the Lord for consolation.
There feels to be no consolation large enough for the pain of the last two weeks of her father’s life or to fill the gaping hole his absence leaves in their lives. Again all I can do is be present.
1 comment:
Do not underestimate the power of being present.
And no--there's no consolation big enough to fill the hole, to diminish the pain today. Time has a strange way of shifting things. But we don't get to rush that, try as we might.
There's a lot of consolation in having someone who's willing to be present during all that pain and agonizing--it might not be voiced now, but it will be.
My condolences to your friend. My heart hurts for her. She's suffered multiple losses--she's going to struggle.
It's good that she's not struggling alone.
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