The examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff. It is quite simple. You simply ask yourself, in the last day/week/month what gave me consolation and what caused me desolation (or some other form of the question pair).
The desolation of the past month initially seems pretty obvious, but it is far more complex. I miss my brother and am mourning his passing. It hurts to see my family members hurting as well, especially my mother and sister. This is effecting my work and that is also disappointing. My lack of productivity is frustrating, but setting higher goals seems to lead to greater disappointment in myself when I fail to reach them.
The consolations of the past month are numerous as well. I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support my family and I have received. It was beautiful to see so many of my brother's friends and shipmates turn out to pay their respects. So many people have offered prayers for my brother, for me and for my family. Friends offer encouragement in little ways as well. One particularly bad/sad/frustrating day, one of my lab-mates told me, "Life may suck, but at least you don't suck at life."
I'm taking life one day at a time. But some days, even that is a mighty challenge.
4 comments:
so sorry to hear that Ashley.
I'm still praying for you and your brother & his wife. I'll remember your mom and sister too.
*hugs*
xxxxx
Bless your lab-mate. And all of those fine folks who are praying for you and yours......
It's hard.
Nothing I know of makes it easier-but I can say that it gets 'different'. It doesn't always tear you to the quick....and it does bring some good things, even in the overwhelming sadness.
I hope for those good things to materialize at times that you need a bit of relief.
Peace to you, ma'am....and you continue to be in my prayers.
(interestingly enough--the word ver is 'sings'....)
*huge hugs*
Ashley, my prayers are with you. I was wondering where you have been at Sleeping with Bread, but now I understand...completely. Well, maybe not completely, because how you can...well, I'll say no more. Here is my post from this past week: http://unfinishedperson.com/2010/03/19/being-grateful-this-friday/
Ashley,
I just saw this post. Obviously, I have missed some sad and important news. I know the desolation of loss so well. I am grateful for the consolations that the Lord has brought for you through this valley.
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