Three

Last week I was battling procrastination, setting up plans to avoid falling into bad time management habits as this new school term begins. I mostly caught up on the outstanding list of things to do and quite please with my efforts. But alas, life has set me back once again.

I’m not a superstitious person. My mother will frequently mention whatever superstition fits the situation, so they frequently come to mind. There's a southern superstition that bad things, especially death, comes in threes. Apparently, when someone dies in the family or community, two additional deaths follow shortly thereafter. Last Monday a former colleague died, ending a year and a half long battle with cancer. On Wednesday a friend of mine found out that her pregnancy was actually twins, but that she had miscarried. And on Friday night my brother died suddenly and unexpectedly.

I have been incredibly consoled by the outpouring of love from family and friends. Those who have offered to tell others because I still cannot say it without crying are a blessing. The prayers and mass intentions offered for my brother and family are gratefully acknowledged. My employers are being understanding and flexible.

At this time, however, I feel lost. I don’t know what to say or do. Good sleep is elusive. Each day I cycle through such a huge range of emotions, hitting several frequently. I am exhausted, but I know that I am loved.