Singular

Being single is an interesting state. Are you single because you are still discerning, or waiting to discern, whether you are called to marriage or religious life? Have you chosen to be single—either short-term or long-term? To consciously choose to remain single is counter-cultural. Many people simply do not understand that one would choose this.

In Party of One: Living Single with Faith, Purpose & Passion, author Beth M. Knobbe discusses single life candidly and compassionately. The author has experience living the single life and has recruited fellow singles to contribute their stories as well. The first person perspective keeps the book from sounding “preachy.” Each chapter adheres to the same structure focusing on a principle or virtue—commentary by Knobbe, personal essays from other single individuals, spiritual principles, scripture quotations and a few reflection questions. Knobbe challenges the stigmas and stereotypes that singles face on a daily basis buy examining myths such as “You're not an adult until you get married,” “Being single means being alone,” and “Singles live a carefree life.” The scripture verses and suggestions given at the end of each chapter provide further insight and encourage time for reflection. The reflection questions “stayed with me,” allowing an easy way to continue to connect with material. The multifaceted structure of each chapter allows a large variety of information to be presented in a compact fashion, but I found that it gave a choppy feel to the book. The discontinuity made it challenging for me to read more than a few pages at a time.

I believe that the key element to being happy is to embrace whatever state you are in. Do not fret over when you will no longer be single or no longer a student/resident/trainee. Live life and take things as they come. [Please note that this is an ideal, but far from where I actually am. I am a planner. I want to make a plan, and I want to know what to anticipate and/or to be prepared to accommodate in the plan. (I was the student who on the first day of college registration had mapped out the courses I was planning to take for the next four years with two potential first semester plans and several divergent paths over the subsequent years to fit my first and second choice of majors, to pursue potential opportunities and to add or change a minor. Despite my attempt to anticipate changes, I found that I redid my plans each semester. I enjoyed pouring over the college bulletin but it was probably a waste of many, many hours and the source of angst when I could not make the real world match my plans.)

I think that this book would be excellent for someone who is feeling depressed or discouraged about single life—either for personal reasons or because of outside influences. However, as one who is happily single, I sometimes felt that the writing was somewhat of a downer as it pointed out different aspects of single life or interactions with friends, family, or others which might make one feel disparaged. Just because it’s not for everyone does not mean that I think it’s a bad book. Definitely 4 out of 5 stars.

Note: I received a complimentary copy of his book from the Catholic Company in exchange for this honest review of the book. Visit the Catholic Company for more information about this book; they are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.